As I’ve mentioned before, when you engage people natural relationships form. Forming relationships is very important, but there needs to be a good balance. If you use social media for the sole purpose of making friends, you aren’t doing your business any good. If you use social media only to meet people so you can market to them, you aren’t building a community of friendly customers and prospects.

You have a business and you’re looking for prospects and customers. But you need to be willing to develop relationships beyond the prospect level without neglecting your core reason for doing all this in the first place… lead generation and finding new customers.

Here are a few tips to navigate the choppy social media relationship waters.

Be real

You can’t connect with people by hiding behind an anonymous blog persona. I see many business people hide themselves online. Some folks post no profile pictures, they don’t use their real name and don’t include a physical address or email. The best they offer website visitors is an impersonal contact form.

You can do better than this. Be a real person – online.

Be available

Once you present yourself as a flesh and blood homo sapien it is important to make yourself approachable. You can do this by asking for blog comments and feedback. Invite people to email or message you via social networks like Facebook and Twitter. Also be willing to grant interviews (no matter how small) and advice and support to anyone that asks.

Be upfront about your intentions

Make it clear that you are online to do business. I do this with Folk Media. I hope that we are giving you as a reader so much value from all the free trainings, teleseminars, resources and advice that you buy our stuff.

Do the same in your business. Make it clear that you are there as a real person and you are available for a professional relationship. But also make it clear that you are running a business. People will appreciate the fact that you shoot straight and don’t cloak your intentions.

The key to online social media relationships is to make it easy for people to reach out and connect with you. Of course, you’ll have to reach out to others as well. But follow these tips above and you will have a much easier time building online business relationships.

Today’s Action step: put a face to your business

Take a few moments to evaluate your online profiles and business presence. Is it clear that humans are behind what you do? Does your business have a personality or is your website another corporate looking faceless site?

Be sure to make it easy for people to call, email and visit you. Upload a few real photos of real people that work with you.  Make it clear that you want professional relationships with your prospects.

Now go take action.

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Joel Mark Witt is the Publisher of Folk Media and author of 21 Days To Twitter Leadership. He is a producer, author, and speaker who consults with businesses and nonprofits on how to use social media in marketing and communications. Get more from Joel on Twitter or Google Buzz.

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*Photo by Beatnic

A survey was recently conducted by Red Associates, a Denmark-based polling service, that found Facebook users did not “deepen or strengthen their friendships” using the service.  The participants stated that Facebook did not deliver on its promise to “connect and share with the people in your life.”  Instead, more than half of the people surveyed viewed Facebook as a digitized phone book or gossip board.

Frankly, there is a problem with those results.  Although the article doesn’t dive into the details, I have a hunch that a majority of the people surveyed don’t actually try to use Facebook as a tool to strengthen their friendships.  If you don’t put in a little effort, of course it won’t help you develop closer relationships!

I firmly believe that users don’t intend to botch their Facebook experience.  Instead, I think a majority of Facebook users don’t know how to use the social networking service effectively.  They see comments, messages, and fan pages and immediately take a bird’s eye view, as is they were watching the plot of a movie unfold.

The problem isn’t with Facebook and it’s so-called fake promises.  The problem lies within the user and the lack of education on how to connect using Facebook.

So, how do we solve this crisis?  How can users dive deep into the waters of Facebook?  What steps can be taken to reverse this trend?

**Warning: The steps detailed below will require a person to exert some effort.  Building relationships on Facebook, or anywhere for that matter, doesn’t happen automatically.  If you aren’t willing to devote a small amount of time to this process, stop reading.  Otherwise, let’s get rolling.**

The Process:

1. Develop your goals and expectations
2. Reach out and initiate conversation
3. Continue to foster the interactions
4. Repeat steps 2 & 3

To begin transforming Facebook from phone book to relationship builder, you need to set goals and expectations for your experience.  Remember, this is where the problem started last time.  It goes without saying that you want to use Facebook to deepen your interactions with people.  But how?  Saying you will use the site just isn’t enough, especially since that is what landed us in this situation.

When you’re developing your goals and expectations for your Facebook experience, ask these questions:

• How many people do I want to connect with on a daily or weekly basis?
• What tools and resources will I use to do that? (Comments, messages, groups, etc)

Both of the questions listed above will help you center your goals and make them reasonable.

Next, do it.  Connect with five or 10 people a week using comments.  Enter the fan pages you belong to and start discussing different things.  Don’t just sit there with the goals in front of you and wait.  The goals can’t achieve themselves.

Creating a schedule to help you manage your connections (and time) is a great way to jump start your relationship building pursuits.  If you want to connect with 5 people a week, allow yourself time Monday through Friday to connect with one person.  Don’t be an overachiever.  Stick to the schedule.  If you don’t, you’ll create unrealistic expectations for yourself and when you don’t achieve them, you will give up.  Again, stick to the schedule.

After you have started your interactions, it’s critical to keep them going.  Once your friend responds to your comment or message, keep the conversation going until it has naturally reached its course.  Don’t force anything but make sure that you make an impact on your friend.  One or two sentence pleasantries don’t deepen relationships.  The conversation and information after the formalities hold together the friendship.

Finally, when all is said and done, start over.  After week one, start week two.  Move onto weeks three, four, and five.  Don’t stop connecting because once you do, you’ll break your rhythm and won’t be able to regain it.

As I said before, this plan requires effort and without it, no relationships will prosper.  If you’d like to stop using Facebook as a gossip tool and use it as a social networking tool, build relationships.  No formal training is required.  Just put yourself out there, begin conversation, and stick with it.

Here are a few tips to help you along the way:

• Comments and messages make connecting easy.  Use them to your advantage.
• Pick a few friends that share your interests and try connecting with them first.  This will ease you into the process.
• Groups and pages are a great way to connect with other people you don’t know but they can take up a lot of time.

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Eric Alpin is the Associate Editor of Folk Media and works for a telecommunications company in Baltimore, Md. He is a social media enthusiast, blogger, writer, and student with a passion for leadership and self-development strategies and techniques. Find out more about Eric on Twitter.

*Photo by nkzs

It feels kinda weird to say that most relationships today are solely virtual.  From friends to bosses and everywhere in between, relationships have gone virtual because of the Internet.  The Internet, and social networks, make relationships easy, less time consuming, and fun.  Although social media is a great way to build up your quota of friends, in-person interaction is still needed to be successful.  What’s the secret?  Authenticity.

What You’re Missing

I think it’s safe to say that you have an online friend or two, someone you have never net in person.  That’s fine.  Like I said, the Internet connects people and that is a good thing.  But do you ever wish that person could be next to you and you could hold a face-to-face conversation with them?

Online relationships lack the benefits of a face-to-face interaction.  First, when you’re chatting online, you can’t determine an individual’s mood or body language.  Did they like the joke you just made or were they offended and are just playing it off?  You could probably tell that if you were chatting in person.

Next, you’re unable to do what you want in an online conversation.  If I am chatting with you on Facebook Chat, I need to be near a device that is connected to the Internet.  If I’m not, I can’t talk to you.  If we video chat, I need to be in front of my webcam.  If I’m not, I can’t talk to you.  But, if I’m talking with you in person, we can move together and do a variety of different things.

Believe it or not, these two things are essential to solid relationships.  They produce character and conversation.  Most of all, they produce authenticity.

Where Did That Come From?

You’re probably thinking, “Where did authenticity come from?”  It’s not out of left field, though.  It’s a critical aspect of relationships.

When you engage in a strictly online relationship, there is little or no authenticity.  Sure, the words you’re saying are a reflection of your character (at least they should be) but there is no way to tell if someone if being 100% authentic with you – down to Earth, caring, genuine.  Online personalities can differ from in-person characters.  Trust me.

Action Steps

If you’re someone who has a lot of online pals and wants to meet, at least once, in-person, here are some action steps for you.

1.  Discuss the idea – Make sure that he or she wants to meet up, too.  If not, there is no pressure.  But, I wouldn’t recommend forming a deep business relationship with someone you have never met.  Be cautious.

2.  Make time – If you’re really serious about connecting face-to-face, make time for it.  This will let your friend or possible business partner know that you mean business and actually want to have a meaningful relationship with them.

3.  Attend an event – A great way to meet people is through events, like tweetups.  I recently attended my first tweetup and was able to interact with quite a few people I had been following on Twitter.  It was good to build an authentic relationship with them.

Authenticity is a critical part of any relationship.  If you’re looking to find a new business partner, sign another contractor, or just want to connect with some online friends, I advise you to go fro it.  It will really help your relationship and it can lead to great possibilities than you can know.

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Eric Alpin is the Associate Editor of Folk Media and works for a telecommunications company in Baltimore, Md. He is a social media enthusiast, blogger, writer, and student with a passion for leadership and self-development strategies and techniques. Find out more about Eric on Twitter.

*Photo by gratsy

Ah yes, LinkedIn.  The word (or is it a phrase?) sends shivers down the spines of many, including people who use it often.  Some say LinkedIn is too complicated and others say it doesn’t yield results.  I’d say both types of people are wrong.

I’m going to give you seven surefire (and easy!) methods to building your network through LinkedIn.  How do I know they’re surefire?  I’ve used them and they worked.

There is no need to be afraid of LinkedIn once you know it’s possible to grow your network and circle of influence.  If I’m giving you the secrets…why not give them a try?

1.  Join a group.

This is probably the easiest way to grow your network on LinkedIn.  There is a group for everything imaginable – Toastmasters, Los Angeles, Harry Potter, Google Buzz.  You name it, there is a group for it on LinkedIn.  If there isn’t a group, create one!  When you’re part of a group, you will meet people with similar interests and your network will grow automatically.  Cool deal, huh?

2.  Post a thread to a group.

Once you’ve joined your group, strike up a conversation.  Make sure that you create a conversation with useful and valuable content.  Don’t just say, “Hey, what’s up?”  No one will respond.  If someone does, they probably aren’t worth having in your network.  If someone comments on your post, make sure you reply to them.  Conversation builds rapport and solid rapport can lead to a great professional relationship.

3.  Respond to a post by someone else.

Can’t think of anything to post as a new topic thread?  Easy enough.  Respond to an existing thread.  Once again, make sure you’re posting useful information.  Don’t simply agree with a statement that has been made.  If you agree, explain why.  If you don’t, state your opinion.  You begin to show you care about others when you weigh in on their topic of conversation.  When people know you care, you build your network and your trust.

4.  Search for people.

Searching for people is a great way to connect because it put you in the driver’s seat.  First, decide who you want to find.  How about current co-workers?  Maybe your boss from your last job?  How about people in your local area?  There is pretty much an endless scope of people you could locate on LinkedIn.  Find someone you know (or would like to know) and dive right in.

5.  Import your email contacts.

The ability to import email contacts into LinkedIn is awesome.  If you use your email address book a lot, this is a nice way to connect with people who you already email regularly.  LinkedIn will locate your contacts, find the people who have active LinkedIn accounts, and will allow you to invite others to join the site.  It’s a quick and easy way to grow your network.

6.  Advertise on other social networking profiles.

Whether you’ve been a LinkedIn member for five minutes or five months, it’s still good to advertise your LinkedIn existence on your other social networking profiles.  I know that there are a lot of friends on my Facebook page that I wouldn’t mind creating a “professional connection” with on LinkedIn.  Don’t just find others; have them find you.

7.  Spread the verbal word.

I know, it’s old school but it still works.  I drop the “L” word (or is a phrase?) in conversation a few times a week to see who uses LinkedIn and who doesn’t.  This method has actually led me establish quite a few connections and the results continue to grow.  At times, nothing beats good ol’ fashion yapping.

Now that you know seven ways to build your LinkedIn network, you should begin to establish connections on a regular basis.  Make sure that your connections are valuable; don’t just connect with people to raise the number displayed in your profile.  In social networking, and especially LinkedIn, it’s not the quantity of your connections, it’s the quality of your connections.

If you’d like, feel free to connect with me on LinkedIn.

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Eric Alpin is the Associate Editor of Folk Media and works for a telecommunications company in Baltimore, Md. He is a social media enthusiast, blogger, writer, and student with a passion for leadership and self-development strategies and techniques. Find out more about Eric on Twitter.

*Photo by juliaf